Foolish Musings

Drop Your Paint Brush!  Illustrating the Absurdity of the Obama Administration's Condemnation of Israel

My neighbor has decided to lay claim on my fourth bedroom. This bedroom is the only room on my property that I haven’t yet remodeled. Last week my wife and I found out that we are expecting a baby girl in a couple months so we’ve decided to remodel that fourth bedroom so young Sophia can come home to her own room. We’ve picked the paint colors, purchased the wood flooring, wired it for a ceiling fan and tomorrow we start painting. But my neighbor insists that we cease any plans for the remodel until we join him at the city hall for talks with the mayor.



It’s absurd for me to go to these talks because I have a survey of my property, signed by the city, which lays out the original 1969 property lines; and my fourth bedroom fits well within those lines. But to be a good neighbor I have decided to go ahead and seek some type of peaceful solution.

In our first meeting we laid out our plans. I brought my survey, our paint color choices and a sample of the wood flooring along with an ultrasound picture of my daughter hoping to show the mayor that my intent is purely motivated and that I was simply trying to build a nice nursery for my daughter. My neighbor brought nothing to the meeting.

The mayor in this first meeting was a fine host and we started a dialog, but no settlement was made. Meanwhile my wife’s due date is inching closer so we decide to go ahead with priming the walls of the fourth bedroom. This infuriated my neighbor and he began to hurl rocks on to my property, damaging a wheel barrow and trash can I had stored near the back door of my garage.

Though I was angry, I decided it was best to once again ask the mayor to convene a meeting to discuss possible solutions to our problem. To this meeting I brought photos of my neighbor throwing rocks and additional photos of the damaged property. My neighbor brought nothing. Again the mayor was a fine host and though no final agreement was made we did agree that we would all think about possible future agreements… meanwhile my daughter is due in just a couple months.

Against the implied non-binding request from the mayor to hold off putting my floors in, I decide that I just need to do what I need to do to prepare for my daughters homecoming, and I proceeded with the flooring installation. This of course enraged my neighbor who took out his shot gun and started to pepper my house with buck shot. As a result a window in my son’s room was shot out and unfortunately while cleaning up the glass my wife cut her hand and we had to go to the emergency room for stitches.

So as not to make any waves I once again called the mayors office to ask to have another meeting to try and work this problem out. To this meeting I brought my wife (now 8 months pregnant) whose hand was still bandaged from the broken glass and pictures of my son’s room freshly outfitted with a plywood window treatment. Again, no compromise was found. We did though for the first time hear my neighbor’s heart who told us, the mayor and the attending press that if we continue to install our flooring, he will have no choice but to blow our house to smithereens.

Undeterred, I informed the mayor that I was going to go ahead with my remodeling plans. In response, much to my surprise, the mayor sent his vice mayor to my house to officially condemn my actions and to officially begin to hold me accountable for obstructing my cities policy goals to end room settlement in the illegally occupied fourth bedroom of my home. He then demanded that I lift my illegal blockade of innocent neighbors entering my home with bombs.